We all want to have authentic relationships in our lives in every respect because it allows us to be who we are, without fear, without worry. Unconditional love is how some describe it. Before we can have authentic relationships with others, we must learn to be honest with ourselves about who we are, what we are doing, why we are doing it, and what we want out of life. These may seem like big questions, but if we can allow - without judgment - our needs, desires and goals to be dynamic, and change with us as we move through life, we can truly be authentic with ourselves. This may mean we appreciate things in our lives that we had been taking for granted, looking at a situation with a fresh perspective. Sometimes it means letting go of people, situations, or other things that no longer feel comfortable. The fear that arises from this can often cause us to delay making changes, causing us to stagnate. We might create "victim" stories around a certain situation that really we just need to let go of - or we might "blame others" for things that seem to go "wrong" in our lives. Instead of allowing change we may even begin living "lies" - this can happen when we are having such a difficult time facing a situation or person, that we lie about it, and create "secrets" and "taboo subjects." IN OTHER WORDS WE ARE NOT LIVING OUR LIVES WITH AN OPEN HEART!
If we can recognize this inner struggle or resistance to allowing change to enter our lives, that is a great first step. Using methods discussed earlier in this and earlier blogs, we should observe ourselves, our thoughts, words and actions, and be honest with ourselves about what is going on in our lives. It could be we do not know what we want. Or other times we think we want something and peg our "happiness" to it without going through the necessary work of observing honestly our own thoughts words and actions. Any time we think some thing or some one outside of us will bring us closer to happiness and peace, a big red flag should go up. We should try to honestly examine why we believe that thing or person will make us feel that way. Meditating and journaling on a regular basis can help us identify areas in our lives that we should examine, and assess whether we are expressing ourselves authentically - with an open heart or not. If we are, then great move on to another area, and if we are not, we should journal about it and try to determine what is holding us back from expressing our authentic selves in that area of our lives.
Tips:
One sure way to determine whether we are living authentically, is when we need to face that situation or person, do we feel a deep sense of dread, or is there another emotion present.
Are we not allowing certain changes to happen - where the change will let us live with anopen heart - without "secrets" and "taboo subjects."
Examine the fear you feel about these situations and describe it in your journal.
If we can recognize this inner struggle or resistance to allowing change to enter our lives, that is a great first step. Using methods discussed earlier in this and earlier blogs, we should observe ourselves, our thoughts, words and actions, and be honest with ourselves about what is going on in our lives. It could be we do not know what we want. Or other times we think we want something and peg our "happiness" to it without going through the necessary work of observing honestly our own thoughts words and actions. Any time we think some thing or some one outside of us will bring us closer to happiness and peace, a big red flag should go up. We should try to honestly examine why we believe that thing or person will make us feel that way. Meditating and journaling on a regular basis can help us identify areas in our lives that we should examine, and assess whether we are expressing ourselves authentically - with an open heart or not. If we are, then great move on to another area, and if we are not, we should journal about it and try to determine what is holding us back from expressing our authentic selves in that area of our lives.
Tips:
One sure way to determine whether we are living authentically, is when we need to face that situation or person, do we feel a deep sense of dread, or is there another emotion present.
Are we not allowing certain changes to happen - where the change will let us live with anopen heart - without "secrets" and "taboo subjects."
Examine the fear you feel about these situations and describe it in your journal.
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