We cannot find true happiness outside of ourselves. Only by releasing our emotional attachment to everything do we experience true joy. That does not mean giving everything away, living as an aesthetic, or not pursuing interests and relationships - it simply means that we work on releasing the emotional attachment to them. This includes releasing the emotional attachments we may have to certain outcomes - whether a relationship will work out, whether we should change a job, whether to go back to school, or have children, etc. Many spiritual teachers say that by being still, we are able to realize that our minds are not the reference point of who we are. See You Are That, Gangaji, pp.4-6 (paraphrased). It is through being still that we experience true beingness. When we practice being still on a regular basis, we begin to bring stillness into our everyday interactions. When we are grocery shopping, interacting with people for work, into our personal relationships and thoughts and ideas. With the emotional charge gone, or diminished, we interact with others in a more meaningful way and our thoughts and ideas gain new deeper perspectives. This is true for memories and ideas as well. We approach life with equanamity.
Without equanamity, we will continue to try to find happiness outside of us, in relationships, accumulation of physical objects, thoughts, ideas, activities or events. These things only bring us a transient sort of "happiness" that soon gets replaced with something new to go after. Think of something you "value" as a physical object. If you can hold it do that - or if it's larger, then go to be with that object. Be present. Feel the energy of the object. Notice any thoughts that arise in your mind as you examine or touch it. Write them down. After doing this for a time, answer the following questions:
1. How would you feel if that object were damaged or broken?
2. How would you feel if it were gone tomorrow?
3. Does the object being damaged or gone diminish you in any way? If so, please describe how it diminishes you as a being?
4. If the object rasises a memory of a loved one for example, does not having the object make that memory any less important?
If we can pay attention our mind processes, and observe how ego tries comes back in (sense of fear and loss or sadness), it might help us to understand why we must release emotional attachments to feel true happiness.
If your object had a memory of a loved one attached to it, notice how feeling sad or happy about that memory, clouds our feeling truly connected to them in a meaningful way. The feeling of sadness or happiness will overwhelm the "connection of beingness" with them.
Without equanamity, we will continue to try to find happiness outside of us, in relationships, accumulation of physical objects, thoughts, ideas, activities or events. These things only bring us a transient sort of "happiness" that soon gets replaced with something new to go after. Think of something you "value" as a physical object. If you can hold it do that - or if it's larger, then go to be with that object. Be present. Feel the energy of the object. Notice any thoughts that arise in your mind as you examine or touch it. Write them down. After doing this for a time, answer the following questions:
1. How would you feel if that object were damaged or broken?
2. How would you feel if it were gone tomorrow?
3. Does the object being damaged or gone diminish you in any way? If so, please describe how it diminishes you as a being?
4. If the object rasises a memory of a loved one for example, does not having the object make that memory any less important?
If we can pay attention our mind processes, and observe how ego tries comes back in (sense of fear and loss or sadness), it might help us to understand why we must release emotional attachments to feel true happiness.
If your object had a memory of a loved one attached to it, notice how feeling sad or happy about that memory, clouds our feeling truly connected to them in a meaningful way. The feeling of sadness or happiness will overwhelm the "connection of beingness" with them.
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