New Year Celebrations are a wonderful way to take time to contemplate and set goals for the coming year - or open up to allow for change to be a good thing in our lives!  In most cultures there is some form of New Years Day celebrations, sometimes unrelated to the western calendar.  Some take the traditions more seriously in terms of requiring contemplation, prayer and forgiveness, while other traditions simply are ways to celebrate, honor the family, or come together as a community to welcome in any changes (out with the old, in with the new).  The history is less important for this blog as the fact that it has been a tradition carried on by most every culture and/or religion throughout history (some believe it was the Mesopotamians (Modern Iraq) over 2,000 before the common era (BCE), while others date it to Julius Cesar around 46 BCE to celebrate the birthday of Janus the God of January).  For that reason, the idea of celebrating the New Year carries different meaning depending on where one is living in the world.  Most celebrations include the idea of it being a time to put the past behind and welcome in new opportunities - "out with the old and in with the new."  In western culture most view it as a time consciously reflect on our lives and to come up with resolutions or goals to reach in the new year, a time to change habits that no longer serve us. 
Whatever your background is with respect to this celebration be easy on yourself!  Try to set goals you can reasonably attain, and if you exceed them, then GREAT!  Setting too many goals or setting unreasonable standards are ways for us to judge ourselves harshly later.  A good exercise might be to pick two or three reasonable goals, and really endeavor to consciously achieve them. 
One of my goals for this year is to set specific times each day (not long maybe two 10 minute time periods) to sit in stillness.  To just be  in the moment.  Another goal is to live less distractedly - turn my cellphone off for good blocks of time (yikes - words with friends in moderation!!!!).  These are goals I hope will make me more conscious about living life - making me and those around me more accepting and happy.  The more consciously we live, the more it is like a New Year Celebration every day!
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!

All life experiences are transient.  We cannot put any experience in a bottle to experience again later.  Once we accept this fact, we can really appreciate the importance of enjoying life in the moment. 
Life poses some interesting opportunities for us to learn.   One moment we feel we have found something so beautiful and perfect, that we think nothing else could be so wonderful.  This could be a close friendship, being with a parent, a child, a romantic relationship, a pet we enjoy, or even being in a particular place.  Sometimes life moves fast, or changes so that we no longer have that special relationship or cannot be in that special place.   Often we suffer from the pain of "losing" that person, either in life due to changed circumstances or with their passing, or we may feel detached from places that have helped us feel so wonderful.  Realizing that life is a series of transient experiences, some on one side of the spectrum that are profoundly wonderful and others on the other side that seem dark and hopeless can help us rationally seek balance.  The expression that we may hear when dealing with a loss, "This too, shall pass...", touches on this idea.  When we are feeling the pain of loss so acutely, it seems that nothing (even wise sayings) can console us.  The pain we feel over losing someone or something so precious to us can be a terribly wrenching experience that can effect us to the core, cause us to lose sleep, suffer profoundly for a long period of time, depending on how dear or close this person was, or how significant the loss was.  There's nothing to do but to feel it.  Feel the pain in our bodies as the waves move through us, without judging or thinking what "could have been" "might have happened differently" or "I'll never go there again."  Until we feel the pain of the loss we cannot begin to accept it.
Accepting the idea of the transience of experience, allows us to really understand rationally that whenever there is love, at some point there will be loss.  In the case of a relationship, it can come through people divorcing or separating, or through death of one party.  Just because this person leaves our lives, it does not mean that the love was not real, or the experiences were not beautiful, it simply means that the time of being together has passed - so move on to the next experience.  The longer we stay dwelling over that one, the longer we will not be living our lives, open to new experiences.     
How can we learn to truly appreciate and accept as life experience the transience of finding perceived perfection and beauty in something outside of ourselves, and accept the inevitable grief of the loss of it?  Realizing that the beauty and wonder we experience in life is not diminished by loss - the realization that the beautiful experience will always will be a part of us comes through acceptance.  The agony we may feel when we experience a perceived "loss" of something dear or important to us, or have failed from our mind perspective, can be diminished if we are able to take the time to feel the emotions of the perceived loss.  Much of the pain and suffering we may experience is because we are avoiding feeling the emotions of the loss in our bodies - our mind is spinning about it, and it creates pain in our bodies, that needs to be felt.  This experience is also a part of us.  If we practice feeling our emotions in our bodies on smaller "disappointments" when bigger ones come into our experience, we will be much more prepared.  Our acceptance that the situation did not work out as we hoped, will allow us to recognize the beauty in our experience as well as the acceptance in the perceived "loss" of it. We cannot put our child's first steps into a bottle, but we can look back and think of it - a thought that opens our hearts to love.
The answer is to remind ourselves that we must accept life, and life experiences for what they are - not resist them, and not look for true love and happiness outside of ourselves.  True love and happiness is found within each of us. 
How do we do this?
- If something changes in such a way as to not work out, or we lose some one close to us, or do not get the promotion we were hoping for, or lose our job and have no money to pay our bills, there is grief to be sure, but it is really our thoughts about the loss that causes our emotional turmoil.  

•  If we lose someone close to us through death, or through a divorce or break-up we were not wanting, we are reminded of the loss each time we see something that reminds us of them, whether it's the things they collected, personal effects still in your home, or even something they picked out, or purchased. 
  Also, when we go to do an activity without them, eating out - going to a movie, or visiting with friends, we are reminded of the loss, and the thoughts about how we wish they were there fill our minds and spin.
  
• If we did not get a promotion, or get demoted, we have to go back to work, we are reminded of this fact, each time we face our co-workers who all know we did not get the promotion or got demoted.  When we begin to do our work, we might also start spinning in our minds about not getting the promotion, causing us to feel less motivated.
•  If we lose our job, and/or do not have enough money to pay our bills, when we see neighbors and friends, we are reminded of our loss, and each call from bill collectors, reminds us of us losing our job, or just not having enough money to pay our bills.

What do we do?  Identify the situations that cause us to have thoughts that trigger the emotions.  Just as in the examples above, use a journal to write down the triggers.  Make a list, for example, if you have broken up from someone you did not want to, or lost someone through death, and you used to make dinner together, write down something like: "I feel so sad because we used to make dinner together."  Sit for a moment, and feel the intensity of the emotion created by the thoughts.  Depending on how strong the thought attachment is to the person/situation/loss, will depend on how strongly the emotions will move through your body.  Be aware of other thoughts that creep in, thoughts that want to "blame" or "justify" why things went or should go a certain way - this is the type of rumination that only prolongs the grief, and does not help you process your role in it - because if you do not process your role in the situation, you will keep recreating it in slightly different ways.  Those thoughts that come in are good to write in a journal, and you will likely see some patterns in different situations.  Maybe you blame yourself, maybe you think you are not worthy, or maybe you blame others, and think "why does that always happen to me?"  These are important thoughts to write down, and then focus on the feelings that those thoughts create in your body.  And so forth. Know that this is a process.You might feel helpless to fix or change something because it seems "to big" - then that is the thing you need to accept - This situation feels too big for me to handle.  Feel that in your body.   Where is that thought effecting you physically?  Is it in your stomach, your heart, throat, or head?  Focus your attention there, and see what that feels like, does it lighten the feeling a little, does it cause you to have other thoughts of blaming others, yourself?  If so, accept that, and write those thoughts down.  Then feel where those thoughts are affecting you physically.  This process is so important, no matter what the loss is, it can help you to bring yourself to a place of true presence, with much more clarity about what is really going on. 
Nothing here diminishes the strong beautiful and/or hopeful emotions you once had, and maybe can have again!  Many people think once something is lost it is gone - but that is just not true.  Often part of our growth and development depends on us having joint experiences to learn from.  Don't let blame, or envy or regret to cloud your next steps.  Losing a loved one through passing, is often about forgiving yourself and/or them.  Financial difficulties and loss, is often about forgiving yourself, accepting responsibility without blaming yourself or others, and letting go of regret - so you can see the situation more clearly. 
FOOD FOR THOUGHT:  Imagine for a moment that we are feeling that wonderful feeling of being in a love relationship with a "soulmate," for example.  This person feels so dear to us we cannot imagine what life would be like without their love and acceptance.  We have built up beliefs about why we love this person so much, feel tremendous peace when we are together, we feel an egoic sort of "awe" about life.  Now imagine one person feels their needs are not being met, and the other does not understand why or what to do about that.  Justified or not, resentment builds, and what once felt like it was the most amazing thing in the world, causes tremendous pain and suffering as it breaks apart.  What is the point of all this?  If we could see the inevitable suffering and pain of losing something or someone dear to us ahead of time, would we forgo the experience?  Does it make the person less dear to us?  I do not think so.  Maybe this whole cycle, which seems to be deeply embedded in the human condition, is an opportunity for us to see that we are complete unto ourselves - we need to add nothing to ourselves to feel awe.  For example, if the first party could really feel the waves of resentment in his/her body as it came through, he or she could say something at the moment.  After all if the feelings have been mutual all along, there should be an assumption of goodwill - not a feeling by one party that the other is out to be inconsiderate.  Then the other party thinks, well, if they can't even think of that, then that's not enough for me!  I need to be with someone who always thinks of that!  So that party may jump into the next relationship thinking that THAT one will be different - that one will be considerate, because I have been sharing with this person how inconsiderate that other person was.....this only starts the cycle all over again.   You get the rest.  So why put ourselves through all this?  feeling the waves of resentment of the loss in the body, when they move through us is an effective way to transmute pain and suffering into a more peaceful state.  Each time we do this, it lightens our load.  It breaks up the intensity of the pain and suffering, and allows us to feel our very beingness - an "awe" of just being alive and present.  What happens when we accept that the cycles we create in our lives - the highs and the lows - are dictated by our beliefs.  Changing our beliefs requires us to practice and learn how to live consciously, to make immediate connections between our thoughts and the feelings such thoughts cause to our bodies.  We can ask ourselves certain questions, like:
1. Why does being with that person/situation make me feel so wonderful? 
2. Why does that/do those things appeal to me? 
3. Is there volatility in the relationship/situation?  If so, how does that make me feel? and excitement? 
4. How am I contributing to the volatility?  The excitement?
5. How am I contributing to the situation?  What is my role?
6. How does it feel when I am not with this person or in this situation? 
7. How would it feel to imagine living with this feeling on a daily basis?
8. Is there substance abuse or infidelity involved/Anger?  How does that feel?
9. Am I resentful or angry?
As we ask these questions, we must consider that we cannot change this person or situation, we can only change our response to it/them.
That being said,
in our bodies, to know our beingness.  can allow us to feel a profound love for another but  created by our belief about what is beautiful and perfect, we can begin to accept the transient nature of it, and learn to look within ourselves for that beauty and perfection.  I am beautiful and I am perfect.  So are you.  I do not need anything or any one to make me feel that way.  By feeling our very beingness, our aliveness, we ignite an awe that surpasses anything else.  The wonder of just being alive!

Many people live their lives in a constant state of anxiety, fear and or anger - kind of like an undertow of intense emotions about not living up to a perceived social "ideal," or our own expectations about how things "should" be.  It can feel like you are digging a hole in the sand  - as you dig, the walls of the hole collapse.  You get glimmers of happiness during the moments when you feel aligned with your perceived social ideal and goals - but these "highs" are short-lived, because shortly after the excitement of that, the next perceived shortcoming pops up in your mind, causing us to to feel "less than" again.  Left unexamined, these feelings create a "self loathing" that can cause us to engage in destructive behaviors.   This can be expressed in many ways -  the best known, would be something like substance abuse, emotional eating, or intense episodes of anger or frustration.  Other, more subtle, and less talked about behaviors, such as creating drama to deflect (the "blame game") or going on buying binges to feel the highs of the shopping experience, are just as common as something as overt as substance abuse or anger issues, but warrants some discussion, because it is something ALL of us have witnessed either by doing it, having it done to us, or watching someone close to us do it, at some point in our lives.  For example, a drama-creator might cut others down to deflect from their own unhappiness and self loathing - a person engaged in this pattern of behavior might create "enemies" that they can focus their hatred and disdain at - and this not only harms the drama creators, but people close to them.  Often drama creators are unable to see their own roles in the drama that created the anger or hatred they feel - and by keeping that anger or hatred alive can harm themselves in ways similar to a substance abuser.  People who get caught in this type of emotional/behavior pattern create superficial rationalizations to justify their destructive behavior, like, "people just need to know (why I'm right)!"  While in reality, they really are angry with, or hate themselves, and only are able to build themselves up, by tearing others down, and making sure that everyone "agrees with" their opinions about things.  Drama creators thrive on the ups and downs of their behavior, for those who live with or have drama creators in their lives, it is emotionally exhausting - it's like watching a car wreck, and after passing the "wreck" (or the last drama), they start actively looking for opportunities to create/cause the next "accident."   Drama creators  feel empty or unhappy after their most recent drama has come to an end.  Once the emptiness sets in, drama creators find a new situation involving that hated person or situation, or wait for/create a new person or situation to focus their anger on.   They often drive people away from them because people around a drama creator get "tired" of hearing about all of the "terribleness" of this person, or that.  If someone close to you is often sharing victim stories or telling you about something someone did or said, in a tone of disgust or judgement, watch out! I always say (as many others before me - too many to name) that if someone is speaking badly about someone else to you, in a way that seeks your agreement on the terribleness of that person, IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE THEY WILL BE SPEAKING ABOUT YOU THAT WAY TO SOMEONE ELSE!  The best way to handle interactions with a drama creator is to ignore remain in a heightened state of consciousness around them so you do not get "drawn in" and find ways to avoid them as much as possible - of course do not add to their speaking ill of others - if you must listen, say things like, "I'm sorry for you," or "I'm sorry you feel that way..." but do not add to the drama by agreeing with them, or telling them "stories" about how you were a victim in a similar drama - stay objective.
    As always, it is useful to create extreme examples for us to use to examine our own behavior and lives.  Meaning, just because we can relate to having created drama at some point or another, to deflect from some issue we had, not everyone is a life time drama creator.  We can probably all look back at situations in our lives when we were that person (but I bet most people who are reading my blog have gone through a higher level of introspection than many others).  This can help us as we move forward to understand ourselves and others.  With these types of examples, it's a matter of degree - how often did we - or do we, do this, and maybe we have done it in our personal lives, but not business lives, or visa versa.  It is important to remember that these behaviors are habitual - and with patience and conscious attention, we can learn NOT to fall into this pattern of behavior.  The first and most important step is recognizing this pattern in yourself or others - and how you respond to it.   Remember too, that by forgiving someone who we think has injured us in some way, we are releasing ourselves from the binds of feeling anger, anxiety and fear toward that person or toward the situation, when we replay the event or events happening in our minds.  Forgiveness does not mean we have to hug the person, or allow them into our lives - it just means we let go of the emotional charge of the events that led to us feeling vicitmized or wronged in some way.

Exercise:  Try to think of someone who you would consider a "drama creator."  Write in your journal a recent interaction with that person, and how it made you feel at the time you were interacting with them.  Then try to remember how you felt about the situation later that day, and write that down.  Did you pass on any of the information they told you?  If so, write down how that made you feel.  Next time you see this person, stay very attentive, listen to what they are saying, and try responding with the words above, "I'm sorry for you," or "I'm sorry you feel that way..." and then allow there to be spaces between the words so you can really feel how the words they told you effected you.  Write that down.  Keep this practice up, until it becomes a new habit.

Living consciously is the single most important thing you can do to develop spiritually or psychically.  All of the methods taught are aimed at helping spiritual seekers to experience life in a more conscious way.  There is not one class you can take, thing you can read, practice or do that will make a person immediately understand the concepts being conveyed.  Life experiences must be paid attention to, felt and processed (through writing, meditation, talking), in order to advance spiritually.  The journey is a deeply personal process, that involves, commitment, listening, reading, practicing, writing, practicing some more, and then as understanding begins to blossom, we want to pay very close attention to our egos.  We are trying to attune to the subtle energies that exist all around us, and interpret them.  As a teacher the best we can do is to point the seeker in the right direction - and discuss and help the seeker stay on a course to optimize their development.
I was listening to The Mystical Kabbalah, and Rabbi David Cooper describes the process so well from the Kabbalisitc perspective (and to get a full understanding of what he says, please do download and/or read his book!).  He talks about our physical bodies and emotions as being vessels, that are always full of light.  Consciousness is pure light.  The more we fine tune, repair, or expand our "vessels" the more light can come in to fill our vessels.  This is such a wonderful way to describe spiritual development!  Paying conscious attention to life, and consciously observing our emotions, and actions, helps to fine-tune our vessels so that we can let more light in.  Some problems can arise when someone is trying to "let more light in" when their "vessel" is not ready for the light, says Rabbi Cooper.  What does that mean?  If we open ourselves up to developing spiritually, by trying to let more light in before our "vessels" are refined by living life more consciously, we can cause more harm to ourselves and others, than benefit.  We see this problem sometimes in people who want to teach others or read for others before they have developed their vessels - the messages or teachings may have some good insight - but may contain a lot of ego, like being overly dramatic or immediately warning of terrible things coming up for someone they are reading for.   So the more we develop spiritually, and open ourselves up to light, the more responsibility we have to live more impeccably - with honesty, openness, lack of judgment, no gossiping, working on our vices, listening to those closest to us who we respect, being with our children, our friends in a conscious way, etc.  It may start with us acknowledging THAT we need to work on some things - not everyone can admit that they have a problem. But those than can admit it, developing spiritually, and honestly "working on" making it better by being conscious about it, is one of the best things they can ever do.  Most programs to help people with addictions and other problems are aimed at helping people behave more consciously. 

Exercise:
Find a time when you have about 30-45 minutes of privacy.  You might do the 6 minute meditation under the meditations tab (or use your own methods) to get into your energy body at the beginning of this exercise. 
Take your journal and write down some things you think you could "work on" or be better at in some way. It can be as simple as "being more conscious about interacting with my children" to "paying more attention to details at my job," to "being more conscious about when I drink alcohol."  You can make a list of things as well.  The first time you do this exercise, I suggest that you pick something that is less "serious" to work on. 
Choose one of the items you identified to work on.  Write it down in your journal on the top of a new page.  Then write down some recent experiences you had where you were engaged in that activity.  For example, if you pick, "being more conscious with my children," think about when you were last with your children in a way that is "less than conscious" and write down what you were doing that made it so you were not so conscious with your children.  It might be, "I was reviewing emails on my phone," or "computer" or "I was spinning in my mind about whether I was going to hear from someone," "I was thinking about business or my job," "I was on the phone with a someone" or "I was playing a game on my phone."  You get the idea. 
Now write down what you could do differently next time so that you are more conscious in this activity.  Using the example above, you might write, "I will put my phone down and look at my child," "I will pause the TV and let them talk with me as long as they need to," "I will shut my laptop and look at my child while he/she is talking." 

All this work we do to develop spiritually, is about learning to be more present in our lives. It is a continuous process, requiring commitment and patience, and above all things, the willingness to objectively observe our own "egos." 


It is often the case that the best advice we get is from the people closest to us. 

We cannot find true happiness outside of ourselves.  Only by releasing our emotional attachment to everything do we experience true joy.  That does not mean giving everything away, living as an aesthetic, or not pursuing interests and relationships - it simply means that we work on releasing the emotional attachment to them. This includes releasing the emotional attachments we may have to certain outcomes - whether a relationship will work out, whether we should change a job, whether to go back to school, or have children, etc.  Many spiritual teachers say that by being still, we are able to realize that our minds are not the reference point of who we are.  See You Are That, Gangaji, pp.4-6 (paraphrased).   It is through being still that we experience true beingness.  When we practice being still on a regular basis, we begin to bring stillness into our everyday interactions.  When we are grocery shopping, interacting with people for work, into our personal relationships and thoughts and ideas.  With the emotional charge gone, or diminished, we interact with others in a more meaningful way and our thoughts and ideas gain new deeper perspectives.  This is true for memories and ideas as well.  We approach life with equanamity. 

Without equanamity, we will continue to try to find happiness outside of us, in relationships, accumulation of physical objects, thoughts, ideas, activities or events.  These things only bring us a transient sort of "happiness" that soon gets replaced with something new to go after.  Think of something you "value" as a physical object.  If you can hold it do that - or if it's larger, then go to be with that object.  Be present.  Feel the energy of the object.  Notice any thoughts that arise in your mind as you examine or touch it.  Write them down.  After doing this for a time, answer the following questions:
1. How would you feel if that object were damaged or broken?
2. How would you feel if it were gone tomorrow?
3. Does the object being damaged or gone diminish you in any way?  If so, please describe how it diminishes you as a being? 
4. If the object rasises a memory of a loved one for example, does not having the object make that memory any less important?

If we can pay attention our mind processes, and observe how ego tries comes back in (sense of fear and loss or sadness), it might help us to understand why we must release emotional attachments to feel true happiness.
If your object had a memory of a loved one attached to it, notice how feeling sad or happy about that memory, clouds our feeling truly connected to them in a meaningful way.  The feeling of sadness or happiness will overwhelm the "connection of beingness" with them. 

During our lives we go through many transitions.  Some we may view as positive, and others negative depending on our ideas and beliefs about what that transition represents.  If we consider a transition positive - like getting into our school of choice, winning a contest, falling in love, getting a new job, promotion, getting engaged or married, having a child - we will welcome the changes, feel connected to life and others in a positive way, and we may feel elated, happy emotions.  Conversely, if we view the transition as negative - such as not achieving a goal we set for ourselves,  losing our job, our home, getting divorced or separated, or experiencing a serious illness - we may resist the changes, and experience feelings of anger, frustration, hopelessness - we may feel separate from others, like we are somehow "damaged" or unworthy of love and respect.  These feelings, either way, come from our beliefs about what is good or bad, what we "should" experience or achieve for ourselves in this life.  This ever-changing cluster of beliefs IS our ego - that part of us that interfaces with the world that judges and reacts to our beliefs about how we judge ourselves and how we think others are judging us.  This is not to say that our egos are bad - as I use the term "ego" here, because our ego helps us interface with the physical world and assess where we are in respect to our goals and desires.  By living consciously our ego can grow and evolve in a way that helps us - ideally, our ego dissolves and becomes consciousness itself.  But problems can arise with our ego when we are not living consciously, because it will hang onto beliefs and ideas about how things "should be" that may no longer serve us in a positive way. How many of you can think of a belief, perhaps one you heard over and over growing up by your parents or other family members - that when you went out into the world - were shocked to discover that perhaps your parents' beliefs were wrong?  That "shock" you experienced, was your ego reacting to the belief you held - and the subsequent change in your beliefs has hopefully loosened up, or removed all together, any egoic reaction you had to any such situation.
To minimize our egoic reactions to unquestioned beliefs and feel more peace in our lives, we must re-train, or re-habituate our egos to allow for positive changes to our beliefs and ideas about ourselves and others.  We do this by calling on that "observer" within each of us to continuously pay attention to our emotional reactions to situations in our lives, and to ask ourselves what belief we have that is causing us to react in that particular way.   We in effect, can use our emotional reactions as opportunities to become consciously aware of what belief is causing negative reactivity to rise up inside of us.  Once we know what the belief is, we can question it.  I can tell you numerous examples where a client may be upset with their job - a new boss is overbearing, the tasks are restructured in a way that requires more work for the same pay, or there may be a person or group of people who are gossipy and cause a lot of negativity in the office.  One could get locked into the belief that they will have "failed" if they leave such a job.  But I ask them to think about it differently.  While often, by avoiding these difficult people as much as possible  - or practicing presence with them - we could stay at a job with such issues - but more often than not, it builds until it is bad enough where the client chooses to go out and find a new job - or make another choice where they go back to school.  The client may experience a great deal of negative emotion about these situations, and "hang in there" because their strong belief causes fear of their failing, or being perceived as failing, if they leave the job.  So, questioning the belief that leaving the job means they have failed is important in this example - why do they believe it would be a failure to leave the job?  Maybe a parent worked at his or her job for their whole working career, and as a child they heard that over and over again.  Maybe the negativity the client is experiencing needs to happen and build so that the client can move on to a better position somewhere else, or go back to school to add to their skills.  Without questioning the belief, the client may have felt stuck - the tremendous fear about transitioning to a new job made them feel that there was no way out, and such a person would have stayed much longer in an unhappy situation.  So many end up much better off than before if they can accept the idea of change with equanimity, and look for the opportunity within the transition.
  Many spiritual teachers tell us that within every emotion we experience related to events in our lives that we judge either "good" or "bad" has within it the seed of the opposite emotion.  What this means to me, is that when we fall in love for example - with another human being, a pet or even a life situation, and are elated - at some point, that person, pet or situation will leave us.  It may be, that the love of being with another endures your life time, but one of you will pass at some point, leaving the other alone - or like anyone who has pets knows, we love them when they are with us, but at some point they too will pass away and leave you.  These situations can bring in tremendous sadness and feelings of loss.  Just recognizing the fact that all life experience is transient - good or bad - can help us understand why living in the moment is so important.  Taking time to bring consciousness into your body while mourning  a loss, or experiencing a transition, can help tremendously with the transition through the loss.  Being conscious or in the present moment can help us through any transition by removing or significantly reducing our emotional reactivity to the situation.   Life transitions are opportunities for growth - transcending the fears associated with these major life events, and remaining open to the changes they bring without judgment of good or bad by our ego - will allow us to more clearly see the opportunity(ies) for growth within the experience. 

We define ourselves every day with our thoughts, words and actions. EVERY night and morning try this prayer:

Dear ____(God/Spirit/etc) let me be all i can be! Show me the path, open the doors and let me see the path clearly.  I am so grateful for this physical experience - thank you! I am so grateful for my life. Let me be all that I can be!!!!!!! So be it, so it is and so shall it continue to be!!!!

Say this prayer, and really feel it deeply - to the core of your being!

Practicing "being in the now" helps us get out of that spinning mind pattern where all of the things we need to do seem to converge on us - like getting work done, calling people back, paying bills, organizing papers, signing kids up for some activity, setting appointments, (oh yeah, and be a good friend, spouse or partner) etc.   When we are in that spinning mind pattern, we feel anxious and fearful - and most of us, in our attempts to avoid unpleasant feelings,  will avoid even thinking about what we need to get done!  In this way our pile of things to do mounts, and the anxiety and fear we feel gets more and more intense.  In this state of existence, there is a constant undertow of anxiety and fear - we barely pay attention to important things, like our children talking to us, or the beautiful sunset.  Instead we function in our lives on autopilot, with a heightened frustration and fear level, and superficial frivolity.  Feeling dread or anxiety when a thought comes up that reminds us of something we need to do, or forgot to do.  There are many different ways to avoid feeling these unpleasant feelings - we may just avoid even thinking about what we need to get done, only to be haunted by it in many different ways - or we may create drama in another area of our lives that allows us to feel some sort of "outrage" to take up our attention, and draw other people's sympathies toward us.  The later not only harms us, but harms those closest to us as well.  This is part of the physical, mind-based, human condition.  The ego. 
When we talk about being more present, or living in the now, it means that our conscious point of focus at any given moment is on what we are actually experiencing or doing. 
Being present allows us not only to live in the moment in a more peaceful way, but gets us out of the unpleasant, spinning mind patterns that create worry, fear, anxiety associated with these spinning thoughts. Once we can neutralize the unpleasant feelings through conscious presence, we can approach our to-do list without feeling dread, anxiety, and without creating more drama.  In addition, being in the moment allows those close to us to feel more peace if we are in the habit of involving others in our created dramas.  Without the spinning mind patterns, and the intense negative feelings they can create in us, we are free to use our minds as a tool to plan and live life in the flow.  To experience being in the now, try the free guided meditation at:  Energy Body Meditation

Living in the now, is a continuous process.  It is a way of life.  Commit to living more consciously - look at people when you are talking with them.  See their eyes.  This is  a process that I apply continuously, and consciously in my life to help me feel more peace. 
Try it and see how it feels to live more in the now!

Our goal with all the exercises I talk about in this blog is to be, and live in, presence as much as possible - you can enter it now, at any time, without ceremony - just feeling your energy body - use this meditation.  Once our basic needs are met, food, shelter - for example, it is part of the human condition to want to ruminate about all of the things we should have done, should be doing, and need to get done - and our fears kick in, when we think that we are not living up to some standard we have set for ourselves.  One of the biggest concerns people tell me, is how difficult it is to "quiet their minds."  The methods described below, and in the last blog are simply tools that you can try if you are having that difficulty.  It helps many people to use the methods described in the previous blog and this one, to “harness their minds'” activities, so that the emotions surrounding a particular situation can be felt instead of avoided.  Since the ultimate goal is to live in presence, or beingness as much as possible, the steps described here are NOT a necessary step – you can feel beingness simply by feeling your body and it’s energy (use the free 6-minute meditation under the meditations tab ), but the self-talk discussed in the previous blog and this one, seems to inhibit many from feeling like they can feel and live in beingness.  Therefore, we should consider the ideas of self-hypnosis further.

As a preface, our perspectives on everything in this world, shape our past, present and future. The most important thing we will ever do in our lives is learn how to be present, meaning in a place of peace without the underlying negative mind activity.  As a path to learning how to live in beingness, or presence, a first step is to train ourselves to pay attention to the thoughts in our heads, and create new habits of self talk, that are more positively focused.  If we are overweight, it does not mean that we should train ourselves to say, “You are thin” in your head , but rather, instead of saying to ourselves, “I am so fat,” we can create a new habit of saying something like, “I know I am moving toward having a healthy and attractive body weight.”  The latter statement contains an entirely different energy signature than the former – it lifts our spirits and brings us up.  Then when we make choices, we can live more in harmony with the statement, “I know I am moving toward having a healthy and attractive body weight.”  It changes our perspective, makes the emotions more palatable, and opens up the possibilities!

MANIFESTING CHANGE with Guest Blogger Cheryl Stone

I recently had a discussion with a young woman whose life is in turmoil. She is in an abusive relationship. She has a degree but can’t get a job in her career field because of past drug convictions that haunt her. She is doing work she thinks is menial and that she doesn’t enjoy, but she needs a pay check to survive. She is depressed. She judges herself harshly. She feels stuck.

I understand her pain. We have all been in situations where we feel stuck; where life is a chore and we feel trapped. HOWEVER, THE TRUTH IS WE HAVE THE POWER TO SET OURSELVES FREE BY CHANGING OUR PERSPECTIVES.

Thanks to all the literature out there, including books like The Seth books, The Power of Now, Synchrodestiny, Abraham Hicks, Notes from the Universe, etc. and the wonderful individuals who promote them, Wayne Dyer, Jerry and Ester Hicks, Neale Donald Walsh and Deepax Chopra, we know our thoughts manifest into reality.  The only real caution here, is to distinguish between self-delusion, and evoking positive change in yourself. 

I remember as a child exploring how thoughts shape our reality when I read a book entitled The Little Engine that Could. Many of you may have read this book as well. It’s about a stranded train that is unable to find an engine willing to take it over difficult terrain to its destination. Only a little blue engine is willing to try. While repeating the mantra "I think I can. I think I can." the little engine overcomes a seemingly impossible task. As the little engine reaches its destination, the mantra becomes “I knew I could. I knew I could.”

This simple child’s story illustrates the point I want to make. We all have the power to change our life by changing our thoughts. We can focus our thoughts on the negative aspects of our lives; our failed relationships, the abuses we have suffered; our lack of movement forward in our spiritual abilities, etc. and be stuck, or like the little blue engine, we can think we can.  

I have been “stuck” many times in my life. It was when I committed to developing my spirituality and mediumship with Tamara about three years ago that I realized I survived the chaos in my childhood, my lack of self worth as a young adult, many co-dependent relationships, including co-dependent jobs, by thinking positively and expecting that everything would be O.K.

 As I developed my psychic and mediumship abilities with Tamara, she taught me several tools I use currently to train my thoughts and change my perspectives, like:

·      being present;

·      knowing my own energy and how I am being affected by the energy of others;

·      focusing on the things in my life that bring me joy instead of focusing on the negative;

·      consistently participating in meditation, prayer, or other spiritual activities; and

·      surrounding myself with other positive, spiritual people.

 I passed along this advice to the young woman whose life is in turmoil. I know that if she practices even one of these techniques, she will manifest positive change in her life.

If you are stuck, I invite you to manifest change in your life. When you feel you are not moving forward, don’t be diverted from the vision of where you want to go by focusing on past trials and tribulations. Instead, focus on the moment. Shift your perspective. Focus on the good things in life. Be aware of how the feelings and attitudes of others are affecting you. This can be especially troublesome if you are empathic. Surround yourself with positive people who you can talk to and who will give you good advice. Keep in mind that change usually isn’t instantaneous. Like the little blue engine, keep repeating the mantra: “I think I can. I think I can.”  
Cheryl Stone email: [email protected]

I want to talk about something very basic.  When I was in my early 20's, I read all of the Seth books by Jane Roberts and Robert Butts.  While there are many wonderful exercises in those series of books, this one I am describing here - while not exactly how Seth described it - is one of my favorites.  The part that is so empowering is the idea that our "self talk" is a form of SELF HYPNOSIS.  So let's learn to hypnotize ourselves in a way that benefits our lives, and helps us feel more peace and joy!
At our most basic level we are energy, energy that vibrates at varying levels – each part of us even vibrates at different levels.   In fact, everything in this physical place is made up of energy that vibrates at certain frequencies.  Even the table.  Think, why does a table or a chair start to fall apart over time?  Well the vibrations that kept it vibrantly together begin to change, the bonds of the energy particles loosen – we refer to that as decomposition. Even the air has certain vibrations that we can shut our eyes and “feel” it.  Some refer to the vibrations of your being, as “feeling tones” (Seth used this term) or “beingness.”  Even your thoughts are made up of this vibrational energy.  As Seth describes it, your feeling tones/beingness reverberates out into the universe, attracting things to you, and creating your life experiences – like ripples in the water.  I am going to call the feeling tones or beingness just beingness, since that is a term that most of you have heard used.
          IN other words, the state of your beingness will dictate your perception of life experience.  So if you are interested in experiencing a joyful and peaceful life it is important then to understand how your beliefs and emotions effect the state of your beingness – and most importantly to let you know how you can learn to change those areas of your life that are not in alignment with peace and joy. 
        Our beliefs are wide and varied – and one of the best ways we can understand our beliefs is to become conscious of statements that we take as “fact” in certain, important areas of our lives.  What I mean by this is, that if we believe something about ourselves, there is a statement we can use to describe it.  (this is not a time to judge whether the statement is true or not – just that the statement exists).
       I want you to read the following statements, and pay attention to your body, write down how you feel – in fact, write it in your journal.

1.              Life is tough – full of hardships.

2.              It is so hard to make decisions, and I always make the wrong ones!

3.              I never have enough money to pay bills

4.              It seems like so many people are struggling these days.

5.              Everything is so expensive!

Now read the following statements, and write how you feel:

1.              Life is full of joy if we look for it!

2.              I love looking at beautiful sunsets.

3.             I feel so competent at my job!

4.              People always come through for me

5.              I am lucky – I get what I want most of the time

Here’s another passage – please read through these, but now that you have the idea, I want you to really pay attention to how your body’s energy shifts back and forth between the peace/joy and the anxiety/fear.

1.              I am so grateful

2.              I am so ugly, especially as I get older.

3.              I really love hanging out with my friends

4.              People can be so mean

5.              I just love getting a massage!

I hope from this exercise you can see for yourself how your thoughts about something (also known as “BELIEFS”), cause you to feel emotions that effect the state of your beingness all of the time. 
      I am sure that most, if not all, of you know what hypnosis is?  I want to use the following definition: “Hypnosis, in it’s natural form, is the acquiescence of the unconscious to conscious belief. In periods of concentrated focus, with all distractions cut out, the desired ideas are then implanted.” (Nature of Personal Reality, Jane Roberts/Seth)
      It follows then, that your beliefs are like hypnotic focuses. We reinforce them constantly through the normal inner talking in which we all indulge.  This inner communication is just like the concentrated repetition of an hypnotherapist.  Id.
    So, I want you to do some writing for me: Read each of the following numbered passages, and write down your thoughts on the subject:

1.     Think of an area of your life with which you are pleased – or reasonably pleased.  Maybe you like the state of your body for example.

2.     Write down some of your beliefs about why you succeed in this area – for example, if you reasonably like how your body looks, you might believe that you eat healthy foods, and drink lots of water, or you believe it’s because you exercise most days… that kind of thing. NOTICE THE FEELING TONES THAT YOUR BELIEF’S ABOUT THIS CREATE – try to describe them – maybe it lifts your heart to think that you take care of yourself.

3.     Now think of an area of your life with which you are less pleased.

4.     Write down some of your beliefs about why you do not succeed as you would like in this area of your life. AGAIN, NOTICE THE FEELING TONES THAT YOUR BELIEFS ABOUT THIS CREATE.  I’m too lazy to exercise, I can’t control my eating, etc.

5.     What is your IDEAL in this area of your life?  Meaning if you had a magic wand, and could make this are of your life perfect, what would it look like?  Please describe it – and notice how it feels to imagine it!

6.     Come up with a simple statement to describe this ideal for you.  For example, if I could wave a magic wand, my body would be lean, fit and healthy.

7.     What objective world factors would show that your statement above is true? My size 4 jeans would fit, I would weigh ____ pounds, etc.

NOW SAY: My life is mine and I form it – feel this deeply in your body.  WHAT I DESIRE AND WHAT I BELIEVE IS ONE – I WILL COMPLETELY ALTER MY OLD BELIEFS IN THIS AREA AND WILL ACCEPT THIS NEW BELIEF:

STATE YOUR NEW BELIEF HERE: MY BODY IS LEAN, FIT AND HEALTY!

FEEL IT IN YOUR BODY.

KNOW THAT IT IS TRUE

IMAGINE IN YOUR MIND THAT THE STATED BELIEF IS TRUE

HOLD THIS VISION, FEELING AS LONG AS YOU CAN.  IF YOU LOSE THE IMAGE GO BACK TO IT. IMAGINE THAT ALL OF THE OBJECTIVE PHYSICAL WORLD FACTORS ARE TRUE – IMAGINE YOURSELF WITH THAT BELIEF TRUE.  (The Nature of Personal Reality, Jane Roberts/Seth/Robert Butts).
Do this exercise, and spend 5 minutes each day saying the above statements relating to your ideal - your new belief about the area of your life that you chose to concentrate on - and really FEEL the vibrations/feeling tones of your body as you repeat these statements over the 5 minute period.  Do this for a couple of weeks, and then see if your thoughts toward this area of your life has shifted.  When you feel ready, focus on another area, and do the same thing!