We cannot find true happiness outside of ourselves.  Only by releasing our emotional attachment to everything do we experience true joy.  That does not mean giving everything away, living as an aesthetic, or not pursuing interests and relationships - it simply means that we work on releasing the emotional attachment to them. This includes releasing the emotional attachments we may have to certain outcomes - whether a relationship will work out, whether we should change a job, whether to go back to school, or have children, etc.  Many spiritual teachers say that by being still, we are able to realize that our minds are not the reference point of who we are.  See You Are That, Gangaji, pp.4-6 (paraphrased).   It is through being still that we experience true beingness.  When we practice being still on a regular basis, we begin to bring stillness into our everyday interactions.  When we are grocery shopping, interacting with people for work, into our personal relationships and thoughts and ideas.  With the emotional charge gone, or diminished, we interact with others in a more meaningful way and our thoughts and ideas gain new deeper perspectives.  This is true for memories and ideas as well.  We approach life with equanamity. 

Without equanamity, we will continue to try to find happiness outside of us, in relationships, accumulation of physical objects, thoughts, ideas, activities or events.  These things only bring us a transient sort of "happiness" that soon gets replaced with something new to go after.  Think of something you "value" as a physical object.  If you can hold it do that - or if it's larger, then go to be with that object.  Be present.  Feel the energy of the object.  Notice any thoughts that arise in your mind as you examine or touch it.  Write them down.  After doing this for a time, answer the following questions:
1. How would you feel if that object were damaged or broken?
2. How would you feel if it were gone tomorrow?
3. Does the object being damaged or gone diminish you in any way?  If so, please describe how it diminishes you as a being? 
4. If the object rasises a memory of a loved one for example, does not having the object make that memory any less important?

If we can pay attention our mind processes, and observe how ego tries comes back in (sense of fear and loss or sadness), it might help us to understand why we must release emotional attachments to feel true happiness.
If your object had a memory of a loved one attached to it, notice how feeling sad or happy about that memory, clouds our feeling truly connected to them in a meaningful way.  The feeling of sadness or happiness will overwhelm the "connection of beingness" with them. 

Feeling overwhelmed from all of our "to dos" or even thinking about not knowing what "to do" can cause us to spin in our minds, and in many cases, completely shut down.  We often feel "alone" in our anguish - the negative spinning makes us feel separate, like no one can possibly understand what we are going through - or we talk about the problem incessantly to others, trying to justify what we do, or are going to do - to get support (and wearing them down in the process).   Think about the anguish and pain we are feeling when we do this!  The thoughts that rise up and spin are sending chemical signals to our bodies, causing us to feel fearful or anxious, our stress level rises, our blood pressure goes up, we might get a headache.  Our minds are so involved in "solving the puzzle" that we are not paying attention to the present moment, our jobs, children, nature - we may feel disconnected.  This "over thinking" of a problem or issue wears us out physically and emotionally, so that even our regular activities can overwhelm us.  While some "build up" of emotion when we are making big life decisions is normal, and can even help us reach a decision (because focusing on a situation, collecting information and advice informs us, so we can reach a decision we can live with),  studies have shown that we are more productive and "happy" decision-makers when we are able to take "breaks" from thinking intensely about a problem.   Taking "breaks" from ruminating over a problem  also opens us to receiving flashes of insight, that give us ideas that would not have come, had we anguished over and continuously turned the problem over in our minds.  The "feeling alone" aspect of this can also open us up to tremendous negativity from within and without.  Our own judgements and fears are activated - and we are more susceptible to criticism or judgment by others - meaning, things that would normally just roll off of us, might bother us at a deeper level (I also call this "psychic attack").  You can see how easily this emotional cyclone can effect our lives in a negative way.  Many people live in this state constantly.  You do not need to feel all that pain, fear and anguish anymore.  Set your intentions on feeling peace and gratitude each and every day and try the following exercise to help identify some of the pressing issues that are fueling the emotional cyclone(s) active in your life right now.
Try this exercise:  Take a piece of paper, and write down everything that is "spinning" through your mind - be sure to leave some space in between the "to-dos" for some notes later in the exercise.  This includes big and little things - from feeling sad over a loss, relationship decisions to a grocery shopping list.  Just let it out, get it onto a piece of paper.  Once you have it all written down, sit or lay down in a comfortable position, with the note pad or journal close by - and use the 6 minute energy body meditation to redirect your mind.  If a particular thought or another urgent "to-do" pops up, crack your eyes open just enough to add it to your list, and then send the thought away on a cloud or in a bubble!  Stay with the meditation.
When you are finished, look at your list - triage the things you have written down by putting a number next to it indicating it's importance.   As you read each item, take notes on what emotion you feel when you read it.  Is it anxiety, resentment, fear, or a different emotion?  Take notes next to that item about what you are feeling.  Really pay attention to where that feeling is in your body - and just observe it without judgement.  Now, observe the feeling in your body - and write down where in your body you feel it?  Notice that as you consciously observe the feeling in your body, the emotion will dissipate and break up, so that it is no longer quite as emotionally charged as before.  For larger, more important issues, it may take a number of rounds of feeling it and paying attention to the emotion in your body. But stay with it!  YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!

I have been spending a lot of time out in nature these last several days before and after work.  It is so refreshing to walk along the creek, walk through the neighborhood, sit among the trees, without judging or labeling, after a busy day of work.  Letting the thoughts float out of me in small bubbles of light, just observing them as they float away  - to really get into, and feel the present moment.  Even if you do not feel like it, try to get out for even a 5 or 10 minute walk first thing in the morning, during your lunch break, when you get home from your activities or even later, after dinner:   Pay attention as you take each footstep.  Notice how your muscles move as you lift your foot with your leg and take each step. Feel the breeze, coolness or warmth on your skin.  You can do this - just 5 or 10 minutes!  You will feel so refreshed after this exercise.  It will get you out of your thoughts and unconscious mind patterns, and allow you to feel part of everything - leaving you more energy and focus than before!  We are all a part of nature - really try to feel that with this exercise. As thoughts about what happened, what you need to do, or what you think you should be doing instead of walking, come into your head - try to observe them without judgement.  Just notice that the thoughts are there - remind yourself that those thoughts will be there after your 5 or 10 minute walk!
Tip: When I walk, I decide how much time I have, divide it by 2 and walk away from my house that long.  This is better than doing "loops" or going back and forth past your house,  because the lure of the comfy couch will call to you each time you walk past your house!